Understanding Unconditional Positive Regard
Understanding Unconditional Positive Regard in Therapy
Do you ever feel like you're being judged? No matter what you say or do, someone always finds fault in you. We all want to be loved and accepted, and a sense of rejection feels awful.
Now imagine walking into a therapy session. Instead of judgement, a therapist completely accepts client feelings and experiences. They don't criticise or shame you, no matter what issues you share.
This is the essence of those who show unconditional positive regard. This stance is one of the core principles of person-centered therapy (or client-centered therapy). This work was pioneered by influential psychologist Carl Rogers.
What Does It Mean?
Let's break it down word by word:
Unconditional - without conditions or requirements being placed on it
Positive - warm, caring and supportive, thoughts, feelings and behaviours
Regard - respect, care and appreciation
So, unconditional positive regard refers to the complete care, acceptance, and support offered by therapists to their clients.
Some key things to note:
The therapist offers positive regard towards all aspects of the client
The client does not need to meet any conditions to enter therapy.
The regard is warm and non-judgmental
Caring for a client in this way is believed to help create a safe space for clients to open up and make positive changes.
Why It Matters
Most of us are used to being evaluated by others. Words like "good, " "bad, " "right, " "wrong," and "should" are used frequently in daily life. Over time, this can negatively impact our self-esteem.
Many people seeking therapy and counseling services arrive feeling ashamed, insecure or afraid of being judged for their struggles. Offering unconditional acceptance helps lower their guard and establishes trust in the therapist-client relationship.
The therapeutic process is then thought to follow in this pattern:
Clients find it easier to explore painful emotions kept hidden inside
New insights and perspectives can emerge organically
Over time, self-acceptance and self-compassion are strengthened
Carl Rogers' Insights
American psychologist Carl Rogers was one of the first to study this therapeutic approach in depth.
In the 1940s-50s, the prevailing view was that therapists had to take an objective, detached stance to properly diagnose and direct clients.
Rogers felt this missed the emotional aspects of mental health struggles. He proposed a more collaborative model centred on trust and empathy.
Some key insights from Rogers:
Clients have the capacity to understand themselves better in a conducive environment
They will make progress towards growth and self-actualisation if given the opportunity
A caring, non-judgemental therapist provides such an opportunity
The therapist was now encouraged to offer patients unconditional positive regard, regardless of shared feelings or experiences. The aim was to create a judgement-free zone for healing.
This pioneering vision sparked the entire person/humanistic centered therapy movement. It influenced future modalities like humanistic psychology and motivational interviewing as well.
One major criticism of unconditional positive regard is the lack of empirical evidence for this talking therapy. Also, person centred therapy may de-emphasise personal accountability for one's actions.
What's more, unconditional love rarely occurs in the real world. Many people have 'deal-breakers' in terms of relationship behaviours. Unconditional positive regard in counselling may, therefore, create artificial relationships that inhibit the transfer of therapy learning to real-world situations.
See It in Action
What does this look like in practice, though? Here are some examples:
The client shares a troubling thought
Instead of evaluating whether the thought is rational or irrational, the therapist allows the client room to explore it without feeling ashamed or weird.
Through collaborative discussion, understanding surfaces about why they have this thought and how it serves/doesn't serve them.
The ultimate aim is for the client to accept all parts of themselves with kindness - not self-judgement.
The client talks of a mistake they made
Rather than point out faults or lecture the client, the therapist allows them to vent feelings of guilt/shame.
Gentle curiosity allows the client to understand why they made those choices and how they can respond differently in the future.
Unconditional positive regard reminds them that one failure does not undermine their worth.
The client admits to socially unacceptable feelings
The therapist does not scold or express shock at revelations shared in confidence.
Instead, radical acceptance signals that these feelings do not change the value placed in the client.
A compassionate holding space is created for shadows to surface, be understood, then released.
In each situation, positive regard sets the tone - not judgement of "right vs wrong", "good vs bad". Over time, clients integrate this imparted grace into their self-relationship as well.
Summary
Indeed, unconditional positive regard is a cornerstone of person/humanistic centered therapy approaches. This radical acceptance helps lower client defences and fosters an open, trusting connection.
Once the inner judge is quieted, true self-understanding and healing can unfold. Rather than impose diagnoses or "fixes", the therapist believes in the client's capacity for growth under conducive conditions.
Unconditional Positive Regard FAQs
How do therapists develop the skill to offer unconditional positive regard, especially if they personally disagree with a client's actions or beliefs?
Therapists develop the skill to offer unconditional positive regard through training and practice, focusing on empathy and non-judgmental acceptance. They learn to separate their personal values from their professional responsibility to provide support, understanding that the therapeutic relationship is a tool for the client's growth, not a platform for the therapist's beliefs.
Can unconditional positive regard be effectively applied in non-therapeutic relationships, such as parenting or teaching, and what would that look like?
Unconditional positive regard can be applied in non-therapeutic relationships by consistently showing acceptance and support, regardless of performance or behaviour. Parenting means loving and supporting a child without conditions, and teaching involves respecting and encouraging students while fostering a safe and positive learning environment.
What are the specific outcomes or benefits that research has identified resulting from applying unconditional positive regard in therapy sessions?
Research has shown that unconditional positive regard in therapy sessions can improve clients' self-esteem, greater emotional awareness, and better psychological health. It fosters a safe space for clients to explore their feelings and thoughts, contributing to more effective and meaningful therapeutic outcomes.
Related articles
An overview of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)
The determinants of a good client-therapist working relationship
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